Lisieux

Upon arriving in lisieux, I felt an overwhelming emotion to cry. This destination was a large part the desire for my journey and now I am in the town which the little flower would spend the majority of her life.

St therese of lisieux, the little flower is considered one of the great saints of the church. She is a modern saint and taught spirituality from that as a child whom looks to her father. It was st Therese that upon reading her book as well as the many books about her ( including the yellow notebook written by her sister of her last sayings from her deathbed) that I came to understand the role of saints. Before, like many Catholics and Protestants I thought they were good people but I just go to God. But you see in my understanding, the saints help lead us to God. In the basicilia in lisieux there is an amazing mosaic directly above the altar and it illustrates the point perfectly. Mary (mother of Jesus) is on one side and st theres is on the other side and they are lifting back Christ cloak to show Him to the sheep. Mary and the saints do not take away Gods glory, rather they point us to give God the glory. End side note. Now back to my story...

So last August through November was a very stressful time in my life. I was beyond over extended. The new school year was always the busiest and I went from 3 campuses to serving 5 campuses, I had bought a fixer upper to rent, flip, or move into (really did not have a clue), I had a new residence life coordinator, the haunt did not sale so I decided in September to open for another season, and finally I was working on a church team for another parish. My plate was full and like most of my life I began juggling balls and was committed to growing spiritually even amongst the crazy schedule. Was life got real and devil is always waiting and my sleep began to get cut short. I was getting about 3 hours a sleep a night. I went about two months before talking to a few friends. Eventually, it got bad and I knew that this was a test of will but I was ready or some rest. In the first week of November, I went to Indiana to crash my sisters conference and see my family. I planned to go see the archdiocese where my grandmother had worked at as well as go to the church that I was baptized at, the Little Flower.

I went to the Little Flower in what is now the bad part of town and found all the doors locked. This felt a bit like my life, then a man walked up and without having to give my story, he saw the look in my eyes and unlocked the church. I entered to see the church I was baptized as a tourist more or less and immediately knelt at the side altar where a statue of st Therese was and next to her the child Jesus. I broke down and began to wept (yes I am using the word wept not cry). I tried to pray a rosary but i was unable to get the words out through my emotion. I told God it felt like it was more than I could bare but that if this was His will that I wanted to embrace it and accept my cross. I asked st Therese to pray to me ( just as I had asked close friends to do), as a Christian we believe in life after death which certainly means they can pray for us in heaven just as sure as you or I could pray here. After a while I got the overwhelming since of peace and I knew everything was to be okay. I stood up and looked around at the parish of my baptism- I found a side chapel where the Eucharist was out in the monstrance and I knelt in prayer and mediated on the mysteries of the rosary. From that day forward I did not have the problems as I had have for the past three months and it sealed my growing love for st Therese.

I do not have my book from st Therese so the exact quote might be off but she died at a young age and knowing death was soon to come for her she said, "I will spend my heaven doing good on earth, I will shower the world with roses.". On times when I have been low, I have had a rose given to me or smelled the scents of roses where none are in the area and I know she is true to her word.