Saturday, October 27, 2012

Avila & letting go

Well, another long bus drive and I arrived in Avila. It is really funny to me, how my bag - though bigger now from getting some stuff in santiago really does not feel like anything when I throw it over my shoulders for the short time that I wear it now. An hour of walking with the bag is nothing because I know a long rest is coming where I drop it off where I am staying!

Well I arrived in Avila, entered the city walls and took accommodations at the first place. Avila has some impressive, still standing city walls from the medieval days - pampalona and burgos were also impressive. I then left by bag in the room and headed for mass at San Pedro's which was happening in half an hour. It is dark and it was nice walking in the old city on the cobblestone streets and passing the cathedral at night. Tomorrow evening, I'll attend mass at the cathedral along with vespers.

I got to San Pedro's for the end of the rosary and then mass started. I have been so blessed with being able to attend mass as often as I have on this trip and I always feel much better when leaving then when I arrived. Plus, although daily mass at the convent in Portugal was nice, I am glad to be back in Spain where I better understand what is being said. After mass, I grabbed a sandwich and called it an early night. I have never gotten off of the pilgrims timetable of bed by ten and up at six something.

This morning, I left while still dark and walked the streets almost alone to San Jose convento, the first convent founded by st Teresa. The morning walk of silence was completely in contrast to last nights walk to san pedro. the streets were filled with people and noise and literally the plaza was last night was like a school field with kids running around everywhere - now it was just me and my thoughts. The Carmelites began laudes before mass and here they are completely removed from the publics eye for complete enclosure as a cloister. You see the metal grate about four feet by four feet and you hear the nuns movement behind it, but you never see them. The only time you saw a nun, was right before they were to receive communion, a small door (similar to the tabernacle door) opened at the side altar and you could see a nun waiting and this is where the priest gave each nun her communion.

So back to my point, we all have those friends that when we need prayers we go to. They seem to have a closer relationship with god then we do and it is usually because they only focus on the important stuff and let the other small stuff go by. This is what I see the nuns in cloister life have done. They focus and commit their life to the important stuff- god and prayer and they ignore the little stuff of the world. Yes, most cloisters have to work, just like you and I to make money to pay for lights and food but for them, even their work is a prayer. How often was my job just work.... I missed many opportunities to offer my job up to The Lord as a prayer. Imagine, if we were all to be in this habit of offering our job as a prayer to The Lord how much more fulfilling our jobs would be but also how much more god could use us in our jobs. So although we will not choose the clothing habit of a nun, let us choose the working habit of a nun!

After my morning at st Jose convent which included touring the museum and speaking to a nun through the wheel, I then headed to the monastery of the incarnation, where st Theresa spent the first 30 years of her religious life. Here you could see how and why st Theresa left because the life here was still very attached to the world. From the parlor where visitors were taken (a place that st Teresa experience visions of our lord) to the size and amenities of the room it was hard to leave the comforts of the world to focus solely on god. Trying to make sacrifice and live a simple life without luxuries, st Theresa used a log for her pillow. This made me smile, as I think of the beds I have been in that have lacked comfort and my desire was a better bed, not that I chose to offer that up to our lord. Well, st Teresa grew at this monastery in her spiritual life before she left to reform the order. Comparing the two lifestyles of convents, it is easy to see why Jesus told us it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of god, not because money is evil but usually we place a high importance on the money in our life and fail to realize money is simply money and not that important in the grand scheme. Instead we think of buying a new car, a bigger house, more clothes, a purse to match the dress, our hobbies, our interest, etc.... Then, you have the other people that although they are not constantly buying, they are the savers - planning for their retirement (yes this would be the people like me) and once again money in this sense still can be evil as it is where we place our emphasis. We are reminded in the bible that we are not promised tomorrow so why store up treasurers on earth. So I can see where a life of chosen poverty can produce real spiritual fruits as we depend on god instead of money, others, or ourself. Of course, this is easier said then done because walking away from comforts is really hard. As much as I have walked away from to follow gods will in my life, I still have a lot that I have not walked away from. I am not a Peter, jumping in the water swimming after Jesus - I am a bit slower as I am rowing up to Jesus in the boat. I will get there, I have faith that god will bring me there, I am just not ready to get rid of my metaphorical boat yet!

1 comment:

  1. I absolutely love that line where you said, "let us choose the working habit of a nun". I'll have to show you this book I have been reading where it ties our efforts and duties into uniting/offering them up for the souls in Purgatory.

    Once again, love this post.

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